Faith That Lasts

If you are anything like me, your children are the most important people in your life, along with your spouse and God, of course!   I know I think daily about how I am doing as a parent, wonder what I am not doing that I should be doing, praying I am giving my children the love, guidance, support and discipline that they need to grow up to be independent, hard-working, unselfish, compassionate, giving adults. 

We have been attending a Sunday School class for the last several months.  The last few weeks have been about "Raising your child with a Faith that Lasts".  It has been interesting and thought provoking.  Some of the statistics that we hear are unbelievable to me.  It saddens me to hear that up to 70% of children raised in Christian homes, that attend church regularly, will eventually leave the church or worse yet, not have a relationship with God.

Today, the presenter asked a great question. "Where do you see your children when they are 30?"  Essentially asking, what are your hopes and dreams for your children...what will make you feel successful in raising them?  He talked about most people answering that question with a having been successful at sports, having completed college, making a good career choice, being married, having money, etc.  What he brought up was not many people answer that they hope their child have a relationship with God, attend church regularly, have faith and peace in their lives that can only come from a relationship with God. 

It really made me think.  What do I want for my children...more importantly, what do I show them is important to me by my daily actions?  And am I raising them so that they CHOOSE for themselves to be a man or woman of God.  Asking those questions can be difficult.  And answering those questions honestly, can be even more difficult.

I often wonder...
Does what I say is important to me coincide with what I show them is important to me?

If I were to ask them who I love, what would their answer be?  Would God even be mentioned?

Do I treat others, how I ask them to treat others?

Do I treat my own children with the kindness and love that I use when helping others?

Does what happens in our home on a daily basis support what I am preaching to them?

Think about it...if we are teaching them that relationships matter, that being a good person is the most important thing, that loving God and following his commandments is our top priority...then why do we spend more time making sure they get to a sports practice, take time to make sure we DVR American Idol, make sure we have the latest music downloaded, make sure we respond to every call and text that we get at all hours of the day, but...

Do we make sure they see us reading the Bible?

Do we make time to discuss their feelings? 

Do we make time to pray for them or with them?

Do we take to ask them what is important to them?

Do we make sure they know we love God?

Do they see us helping others?

Do they KNOW we love them...just the way they are?

Do they KNOW that they do not have to be the best at basketball, at baseball, at piano, or in school in order to have our love and support...that we are proud of them and love no matter what?

Do they KNOW that GOD LOVES and FORGIVES them?


Just something I have been thinking about all day and felt it was too important not to share!

If we want to see change in society and in the world, we have to start at home.  We have to get our priorities in order.  We have to love and support those living in our home.  We have to take the time to teach them and be good role models for them.  We have to lead by example...through faith, prayer, kindness, love and through our own relationship God.

I know I have a lot to work on!  When I think about how my relationship with God has grown in the last few years and think about the peace I have now and the faith in Him that I rely on now, I can't imagine not wanting that for them!  And the sooner that can happen for them, the better off they will be!

Friday morning, Abbie was concerned about the weather.  On the way to school, she said, "Mom, I was really worried about the storms and tornadoes, but I just said a prayer and it made me feel so much better!  That's what I am going to do all day today if I get scared!"  It really touched me!  I am so proud and relieved that she knows she can go to Him in prayer when she is happy, sad, scared, unsure or lonely!  I wish that for each and every one of us!  Our lives could be so much better, if we could just take that leap of faith and trust in Him alone!  If we could just live how He has asked us to live. 
I know none of us will ever be perfect.  We will all make mistakes.  We will look back and wish we would have done things differently.  I already do that! 

But I do know, we will be much better parents if we begin with the end in mind!!!

So, I am asking myself and I will ask you...
Where do you hope to see your children when they are 30? 
And what are you doing to help them to get there? 

Doggie Style

Many of you know I enjoy styling and cutting hair...and that I am CHEAP!  So, I'm sure it is no surprise to you that I decided to style Bubba's hair myself!  Why in the world would I pay $25 for someone to cut my dog's hair when I won't pay to have someone cut the kids hair???  So, I bought a dog grooming set...and watched a couple of YouTube videos...it looked oh so easy!!!   Let me tell you...IT'S NOT!!!
Just look at Poor Bubba now!!!   Oh, and the clippers DO NOT work!  Had to use the scissors!  Not easy with a puppy that is constantly moving and trying to bite you!!!


Bubba AFTER



Bubba BEFORE!!! 



Some spots are right to the skin...

some are still long and shaggy!

Bubba has his own swag...

Really the cut fits his personality...

he is a little bi-polar...

goes from being lovey

to biting and crazy in a matter of seconds!

He looks sad...I think he saw his reflection in the window!

Getting the treatment...warming up and drying off with the hairdryer!

So, will I try it again?

Of course, I will!

Bubba is a dog...

We are the only ones who see him!

And I don't give up that easily!!!

Next time I'm going for a mohawk...

after giving Brett a few,

I think I have that style mastered!

By the way, have you missed me??

I have been so sick with this awful cough!

I finally got to sleep last night!!!!

Darren gets home from Texas today!!

If he has another sunburn

like he had when he got home from a week in Florida,

last month, I might start questioning these

"business trips"!!!

I think I'm going on the next one!!!

AAB...Attention Abundance Blessing

This morning, I have been wanting to blog but I can't decide on a topic...so random always works for me!  I'm sure you are all just dying to know the random thoughts that run around in this brain!  So I'm gonna start typing and we'll see where we end up!

Don't know if I have mentioned it before, but I have ADD...Attention Deficit Disorder... and I wanna talk a little bit about that!

First of all, I do not like the name!  I think it should be called AAB...or AAC...Attention Abundance Blessing or Attention Abundance Curse, for those of you that have a desperate need to view us blessed with Attention Abundance in a negative light, or as "disordered".

I will admit that I get frustrated with myself and some of the traits that come along with being AAB. 
I'll just name a few...

Being unorganized...my brain just can NOT think about where things should go and that sort of thing..in my mind it all needs to be sitting out, so I can see it, and have everything handy!

Lack of a filter...talking without thinking first...that can really cause a girl some problems!  Not to mention, I talk to much and share too much info for most people!

Losing things...because I never pay attention to where I sit something down...by the time I am in the act of sitting it down, my mind is on to the next thing!  So, I lose things frequently! 

Mindless Eating...this can cause some problems as well...eating without awareness, while doing something else can add on some pounds!  And when you're as short as me...that's not a good thing!

Forgetfulness/Absentmindedness...I forget where I am driving pretty much on a daily basis (just ask my kids!), I forget appointments, practices, special dates...I forget to get gas, I forget to take my purse and then if I do take it somewhere I leave it there, I go to a store to get something and leave with 10 items...none of which are what I went in to get!  (This could be an entire blog post!)

Ok, since I'm honest, I'll tell you what I did last month!  I was at the dentist with Bart...made a cleaning appointment for THE NEXT DAY for Brett.  The lady working said, "You won't need a card, it's tomorrow!"  I responded, "No, I need a card, I'll forget!"  She nicely, raised her eyebrows and grinned and made me out a card that said 3:30 TOMORROW!  You know what happened, don't you?  Yep, I forgot.  Completely!  Never thought of it again after I walked out of the office.  I went somewhere the following day, can't remember where, and when I get home that evening, Darren says, "The dentist office called...you missed Brett's appointment!"  I just wanted to sit down and cry and laugh and cry and laugh and cry some more!  That really drives me crazy!


Even though those things can make me crazy...and I KNOW I really drive other people crazy...I am happy that I have AAB.  It makes me who I am and it makes me...

Aware, intuitive, in-tune to others....I can read people very easily, I really pay attention to others.  I know the second I see someone if they are upset or mad or if something isn't right.  That can lead to problems because I usually can't stop myself from saying, "What's wrong?" or "Are you OK?" and then I often get tears flowing...which doesn't really bother me but I know most people like to pretend and not talk about problems!  Poor Darren...I know he is upset, mad, tired whatever...often before he realizes!  My kids have a very hard time getting anything by me!  Bart just asked me the other day, "How do you ALWAYS know?"  I just smiled and said "just remember that!"  Can't get much passed Big Mama! 

This can also lead to problems for me because I can tell when people are lying to me almost instantly and I ALWAYS want to call them out on it but I can't! And when I do, it doesn't always go well!  I would love to just be able to say "LIE" every time my friends, family, coworkers or whoever tell me something that I know isn't quite the truth, even if it is something trivial,  but I know I should just let it go.  But letting things go outwardly, but still questioning inwardly,  leads me to question so many relationships and the intentions of others and why they would lie over little things. Then I start questioning...what are they trying to hind, why do they not want me to know the truth, is anything they say every fully truthful, to who is this a benefit?

I would much rather people be honest about everything...even if it hurts my feelings...because knowing someone lies to me, even about little things, hurts far worse.  It makes me feel like the relationship is a "scam" and not real...and that makes everything difficult for me after that!  I want to just pull away and keep everything superficial!  I guess that is why I struggle with relationships...cause once I hit my point of being lied to too many times, or kept from the truth, I pretty much give up!  Once, I stop trusting someone, I pretty much NEVER trust them again!  Harsh, I know...but honest!

And yes, I have discussed this many times with Darren and I will stand by my belief that omitting the truth or not telling the full story or reason, IS LYING!!!  Not telling the truth is lying!!!  For example, when someone tells me they CAN'T do something because of  "this"... but really they DO NOT WANT to do it because of "that"...I see that as a lie!  Just tell the truth already!  If it is gonna hurt my feelings, that's my problem, but lying to me ruins much more!  My hurt feelings will go away...your lie will never leave my mind!!!  It's like a steele trap!

Kinda goes along with Darren's comment that I can NOT stand people being FAKE!  I can see it a mile away...and I have no use for it!  I understand being cordial to others is necessary, even if they are not our favorite person.  I don't see that as fake, I see that as being mature.  But people who try to act like they are sooo nice and sweet to certain people for their own personal gain...PUKE!!   You are either nice or you're not...if you are only nice to your friends or people of power and can't even look at others or talk to people outside of your "clique"...then you are not a nice person!

If you want know

 the true character of someone,

pay attention to how they treat people

who can do nothing for them!!!

Let's move on before I get upset!

Creative...I love that I can be creative!  I love that I have an eye for photography.  I love to make things...I am not afraid to try anything...I've made my own patterns out of newspapers for basket liners, skirts, and other crazy things.  I just sew things...even if I'm not "doing it right"...I see uses for things that most people see as trash!  Hence, the CLUTTER that Darren mentioned!  I think it's pretty cool that I have tons of ideas and

Have NO FEAR!...I'm not afraid to try things, or to quit things, or to say what I think, or to try a different job or to go after a big idea that I have...which I do have many...

Come up with BIG IDEAS!...There is never a shortage of ideas in my head!  I think Darren gets exhausted just listening to all the things I want to make and all the things I want to do!  He does not understand my need to help everyone and how I think I am going to accomplish it!

HAVE FUN!...I do love to have fun...I love to play games just like a big kid! 

Be Honest...Some people may not like it but I think most people KNOW where they stand with me!  I say it like it is...call it like I see it!  I am NOT good at hiding my feelings...If I'm happy to see you, you know it!  If I'm in a great mood, you'll know it!  If I am sad, you'll know it...I do cry easily (which does make me mad sometimes!) I pretty much wear my emotions on my sleeve...I am a terrible liar!  If I do try to lie,  I end up telling on myself and if you know me at all, you could probably see it on my face.  I usually never try to lie anyway, unless I know something that is not my place to tell...certain information that I may have been asked about but that is confidential in nature...obviuosly I have to lie and say I don't know!  I would say I'm pretty much one of the most "real" people you are ever gonna meet...you may see that as good and you may see it as bad...but you'll never have to spend much time guessing what I think!  Just ask...I'll tell you!

So, I feel blessed...I guess you can say I'm "gifted"...now that's funny!

If you ever research ADD or ADHD (you won't find ABB online!), you will find that MANY, very successful actors, artists, musicians, and entrepreneurs have ABB!  I do think it is a "gift" and I feel "blessed" by it! 

I love the book "The Gift of Adult ADD"...it is awesome!

I really want to go see Ben Glen, the chalk guy over at Lake Land College...he has ADD and talks to people about it all over the US about ADHD!  He is one smart cookie!  I hope to meet him sometime!  Maybe the school will let me tag along on career day...Bart would love that, wouldn't he??

Well, this post ended up not being so random after all!  I had not planned on this topic at all...had to go search for all of my quotes after I was done writing!  But it worked, I guess!  Now you know even more about me...probably more than you wanted, once again!  Wow, I just went and previewed the blog...I guess it is more about LIES than ADD!  Sorry...it was a little random, I guess!

Call me CRAZY, but I Have A Dream...

Actually, I have several big dreams!  But one of my BIGGEST dreams is to build an indoor sports/recreation center for our community.  I want it to be FREE for EVERY child in our town 18 years of age and under.  This is something I have been dreaming about for years...but I keep making more detailed plans about where it will be located, what it will look like, how and who will run it, and what other ways it could be used to bless our entire community.

I'm sure you are all laughing at me, like most people do when I start talking about my big dream!  That's OK...you go ahead and laugh!  If this is something God wants me to do and wants this community to have, He will provide the funding that is needed and He will make it happen!  And if not, then I will accept that it wasn't meant to be!
But since I believe with all of my heart that it is meant to be...I'm going to share my plan with you!

I would like to purchase land north of 12th street that is close to the park...either directly behind the park, or the fields on either side of County Club Road, north of 12th street.  I think being near the park and the facilities there would the best location!

I want to have an indoor workout gym...free weights, machines, treadmills and such! 

I also want an large indoor court area like the DISC in Decatur has.  That would allow for several "courts" or areas to have different activities going on at once...soccer, basketball, volleyball, football, tennis, wrestling,  We could even host indoor tournaments and events throughout the year to raise money!

An indoor track...so people don't have to be out on the roads when it is dark, or cold or slick!  So much less dangerous!

I would like to have a Dance room, where volunteers would teach dance to young girls and boys for Free and where aerobics classes could be held and adult dance classes could be offered!


I would like another large room that could be rented out for school dances, reunions, wedding receptions, meetings, and other activities. 

An indoor pool would be nice but I don't know if I am sold on that yet or not.  Water and the risks that come with it makes me nervous! 

I would also like an indoor golf area with putting greens and a driving range type place.

I also want a homey area with a kitchen, living room...kind of a common area,  that could be used for homework help, kids who want to hang out and not play sports.  And I would like some rooms that would be available for people struggling that are homeless that need a place to sleep.

A concession area would be needed...and that would be another avenue to raise funds!

Obviously, showers & restrooms!

I also want a small area of computers that children could use if needed for school work and projects that do not have access to those things at home!


I have had people ask how could I afford to run it...well, I would get volunteers to work...retired individuals or other people that don't have jobs or work part-time.  I would try to get college kids who could donate time.  And I also would charge membership fees for all adults. 
And I believe with all of my heart that the funds needed to run a place like this are right here in the community.  There are people with money...they just need to be nudged by Him to open up their hearts and pocketbooks to support the youth of our community! 

I could even have a room for Big Mama's Closet!!!  Wouldn't that be nice...a store for the kids to shop in for FREE!!

I want this to be a POSITIVE place...where kids are LOVED and ACCEPTED!  There would be no bullying...no stacked teams...all kids would be treated equally...and I would make sure of it!!!

I keep thinking I am going to win the lottery and use that money to build this dream...but I need to play before I can win! Right?

So, I guess I need to start looking for grants, praying for a few generous souls to make a big whopping donations of land, money and time!!!  I can pray that Oprah will see this blog and head on down to Shelbyville and write a check!


So, I guess you can laugh and call me crazy!  But I can't get this idea out of my mind!!!  I know it would be a wonderful thing for this community..especially the children!  

Don't you agree???

So, if you have millions that you are hoarding...think about the impact you could have on so many by helping to building this dream!!   I'm going to keep praying and maybe one day soon we will have a Shelbyville Community Recreation Center!  Our I could keep with my theme and just call it "Big Mama's House!"

What do ya think?

Guest Blogger...a blog about me!

Here is a blog all about me...from a guest blogger!  Can you guess who it is, without looking ahead?  It made me laugh and cry...so sweet!

Guest Blogger…

I have known Amber since we were kids, and have learned so much about her (and her family) since she started ‘blogging’. 

Amber and I have had our ups and downs as most people do.  Over the years we have grown apart, and reconnected several times.  We have had our differences for sure, but through it all I always knew that she was someone that I could count on. 

Recently, I suggested that someone should post a blog about her.  Her reply, “Good idea, you should do it!”  I am not a very public kind of person, so I was not very excited about that idea, but since I suggested it…  What could I say?

So, I’ve put together a list of “motto’s” that I think describe her.  The first one is easy.

Amber’s Motto:  Just do it.  Don’t suggest something to Amber unless you are prepared to follow through (for example, I’m writing this blog).

Anyway, as I am scrambling for ideas, and for something that is worthy to be posted on her blog, I ask her, “Do you want it to be funny, serious, or what?”  Her reply…  “Be honest!” Amber’s Motto:  There is no reason to be fake (and she’s pretty good at spotting it a mile away).

One of my first memories of Amber, is the way she used to dress in school.  She has mentioned it before, and she is not kidding.  Madonna, Cindy Lauper, and the like had nothing on Amber.  In hindsight, I admire the confidence that she had to be ‘different’, or to not ‘follow the crowd’.  And, if you have read her blog or have had a chance to know her, she has not lost that approach to life.  Amber’s Motto:  Be true to yourself.  That is something that Amber has done and continues to do. 

Throughout our years in middle school together, I can remember several times when Amber would could be seen standing her ground, and standing up for other kids.  Whether it was getting in a fight with a boy that crossed her, or stepping in when someone was being picked on.  I can even remember once, when some kids were giving me a hard time (as kids can so often do).  Before I could say anything, out of nowhere, there was Amber stepping in to defend me.  At the time, we weren’t even all that good of friends.  As I’ve read her recent posts, I realize that, even as an adult, her attitude has not changed.  Amber’s Motto:  Stand up for others.  No one is more important or valuable then anyone else.  Amber continues to LIVE this philosophy.

It was during our high school years that we developed a closer friendship.  That’s when I saw Amber’s tenacity and hard work develop, especially on the volleyball court.  Since then, she has told me stories of someone telling her that she couldn’t accomplish something.  In her words, “Don’t tell me I’m NOT going to do something, because that is exactly what I will do!”  I don’t know all of the details, but I know that she had a successful high school and college volleyball career.  Amber’s Motto:  If you’re going to do something, do it to the best of your ability.  There no reason to only put in half the effort.

As a young adult and a full time mother of three, Amber started her own business.  She started taking pictures.  If anyone has had the opportunity to have Amber photograph their family, as I have, they will agree with me when I say how incredibly talented she is.  Her business was an instant success due to her enormous talent.  I can’t count the times that I’ve talked to other people about how good she is at photographing people and capturing their personalities.  And, it’s not just pictures that she can create.  During that time, and several times since, I’ve walked into her house to find the coolest projects that she was working on, or had displayed in her house.  Amber’s Motto:  Create.  She is very creative, to the point that some of us can’t understand why things come so easily for her (when they don’t for us).

In recent years, the thing that I notice most in Amber is her zest for life.  She is constantly telling me about, or posting stories about the thrills of living.  From playing whiffle ball, to water fights, to singing karaoke, to playing Wii games, or going on trips and playing games with friends, it seems like she is always looking for a way to make life fun.  Sometimes I wonder who is having more fun her kids, or her.  As she has said to me recently, “no one remembers the nights that they got the right amount of sleep”.  Amber’s Motto:  Enjoy life.  Don’t sweat the details, and have FUN. 

Since we’re being honest, I’ve also got to include a section on organization.  It seems like when I walk in to her house, and see all of her creations, they are surrounded by a large amount of disorganization (that’s too nice…  CLUTTER).  There are even times that I’m talking to her, when it seems like she can’t complete a thought.  Her house is not kept the way that I try keep mine, but I’m pretty sure that she doesn’t stress about it.  I think that to her there are many things that are more important to her than keeping an immaculate house, especially while her kids are growing up.   As she has told me before, “there will be plenty of time to clean and organize AFTER my kids are grown”.  Amber’s Motto:  Most things are more important then being organized.

Another trait that I need to mention about Amber is that she is a very giving person.  She has always given me such thoughtful and creative gifts.  Her giving nature has also shown through in her recently ventures organizing and starting “Big Mama’s Closet”.  Amber’s Motto:  Give.  We are only temporary keepers of worldly possessions.  Ultimately they all belong to God, so SHARE them. 

I don’t think that she will ever realize what an impact knowing her has had on my life.  I am confident that I am a better person for haven known her, which brings me to the last of Amber’s mottos.  Amber’s Motto:  Influence Others.  She’s never said it in so many words to me, but I believe that a Garth Brooks song, The Change, sums it up best.  If you don’t know the song, it basically says:  Even though my actions will not change the world, I do it anyway because I want the world to know it will not change me.

So, here’s to my best friend and….. 

my wife.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Love,
Darren

P.S.  Here are a few “fun facts” about Amber

Amber SNORES too!!!!!!  Not true!

Once, I had to go home from work to let Amber back in our house because she locked herself out (TWICE in the same day!)  True!

Diet Coke is her drug of choice.  I often get a call when I’m on my way home to pick up some Diet Coke so she can get her “fix”.   True...very true!

She HATES cold weather!  That’s why she wants to live on the beach someday.   True!!!!!

She loves music and dancing, but lyrics are not her best subject.  For example, Lee Ann Rimes song , “How will I survive”…  Amber’s version “How will I say love”.  Maroon 5 song, “Move like Jagger”…  Amber’s version “Remove my jacket”.  Sad...but TRUE!

When visiting a beach on Lake Michigan for the first time, we were standing at the water’s edge when a whitecap splashed Amber in the face.  Her response “I hate the taste of salt water” (think about it…)  True...now that's embarrassing!

All of these things remind me of one more of her motto’s…  Laugh often (even at yourself sometimes) True...but I laugh at myself ALL of the time!

Thanks Darren for being a good sport and writing a blog!  That was a great Valentine's gift!  I love you!

People I Love!

Don't feel so hot today...so I was looking through the 1337 photos on my iPod and thought how lucky I am to have so many people to love! And I have all these photos to remind me of them! Now this isn't everyone...just what I could find quickly skimming through my pics! Hope they make you smile
You know my friends love me for taking these pictures...and they are really gonna love me for sharing!

I'm the LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD!