Call me CRAZY, but I Have A Dream...

Actually, I have several big dreams!  But one of my BIGGEST dreams is to build an indoor sports/recreation center for our community.  I want it to be FREE for EVERY child in our town 18 years of age and under.  This is something I have been dreaming about for years...but I keep making more detailed plans about where it will be located, what it will look like, how and who will run it, and what other ways it could be used to bless our entire community.

I'm sure you are all laughing at me, like most people do when I start talking about my big dream!  That's OK...you go ahead and laugh!  If this is something God wants me to do and wants this community to have, He will provide the funding that is needed and He will make it happen!  And if not, then I will accept that it wasn't meant to be!
But since I believe with all of my heart that it is meant to be...I'm going to share my plan with you!

I would like to purchase land north of 12th street that is close to the park...either directly behind the park, or the fields on either side of County Club Road, north of 12th street.  I think being near the park and the facilities there would the best location!

I want to have an indoor workout gym...free weights, machines, treadmills and such! 

I also want an large indoor court area like the DISC in Decatur has.  That would allow for several "courts" or areas to have different activities going on at once...soccer, basketball, volleyball, football, tennis, wrestling,  We could even host indoor tournaments and events throughout the year to raise money!

An indoor track...so people don't have to be out on the roads when it is dark, or cold or slick!  So much less dangerous!

I would like to have a Dance room, where volunteers would teach dance to young girls and boys for Free and where aerobics classes could be held and adult dance classes could be offered!


I would like another large room that could be rented out for school dances, reunions, wedding receptions, meetings, and other activities. 

An indoor pool would be nice but I don't know if I am sold on that yet or not.  Water and the risks that come with it makes me nervous! 

I would also like an indoor golf area with putting greens and a driving range type place.

I also want a homey area with a kitchen, living room...kind of a common area,  that could be used for homework help, kids who want to hang out and not play sports.  And I would like some rooms that would be available for people struggling that are homeless that need a place to sleep.

A concession area would be needed...and that would be another avenue to raise funds!

Obviously, showers & restrooms!

I also want a small area of computers that children could use if needed for school work and projects that do not have access to those things at home!


I have had people ask how could I afford to run it...well, I would get volunteers to work...retired individuals or other people that don't have jobs or work part-time.  I would try to get college kids who could donate time.  And I also would charge membership fees for all adults. 
And I believe with all of my heart that the funds needed to run a place like this are right here in the community.  There are people with money...they just need to be nudged by Him to open up their hearts and pocketbooks to support the youth of our community! 

I could even have a room for Big Mama's Closet!!!  Wouldn't that be nice...a store for the kids to shop in for FREE!!

I want this to be a POSITIVE place...where kids are LOVED and ACCEPTED!  There would be no bullying...no stacked teams...all kids would be treated equally...and I would make sure of it!!!

I keep thinking I am going to win the lottery and use that money to build this dream...but I need to play before I can win! Right?

So, I guess I need to start looking for grants, praying for a few generous souls to make a big whopping donations of land, money and time!!!  I can pray that Oprah will see this blog and head on down to Shelbyville and write a check!


So, I guess you can laugh and call me crazy!  But I can't get this idea out of my mind!!!  I know it would be a wonderful thing for this community..especially the children!  

Don't you agree???

So, if you have millions that you are hoarding...think about the impact you could have on so many by helping to building this dream!!   I'm going to keep praying and maybe one day soon we will have a Shelbyville Community Recreation Center!  Our I could keep with my theme and just call it "Big Mama's House!"

What do ya think?

Parenting Young Athletes...We Can Improve!

Teamwork, encouragement, and FUN!

Again, thanks for the feedback!  I'm loving it!  I did get a little negative in my post yesterday...I should have read over it before posting...I could have got the message across without adding negative comments.  However, I had just read comments from a few moms about how their children were treated in Little League and it got me a little fired up!  I want to do my best to keep this positive...but honest...and sometimes honesty about situations is not always positive.  But, I will do my best!  This is not about hurting anyone but making the future of youth sports in our community better for everyone involved and that may mean discussing honestly how things have been done in the past!

Some people are probably wondering why I am concerned when one of boys is 13 and done with youth sports and my other is almost there!  I do have a daughter who is 8 and I do want positive athletic experiences for her. But, to answer that, this is NOT about my children!!!  I am hoping that the next group of parents that take over the youth programs will consider the impact their actions have on everyone involved and do some things differently!  I also would really like to see our school athletic program improve and be a positive aspect of our community.

These boys know what it's all about...
FUN!!!

It breaks my heart when I talk to people from out of town, especially people who I respect, that are involved in athletics and they say things like "well, you know how people from Shelbyville are when it comes to sports!" I have heard words like ridiculous, crazy, rude, unsportsmanlike, and out of control used to describe Shelbyville parents, fans, and players.  I have heard the following statements, "What has happened to Shelbyville sports teams? Things have really gone down hill, huh?"...or "Ya know, some of those kids have really bad attitudes.  They are not near as good as they think they are!" or "Boy, there is some talent there, too bad those kids do NOT play as a team!"  Those comments should really hurt...should embarrass us...and the sad thing is,  I can't argue with them because I have seen it myself!

This past season, the minor league teams
really learned what life and encouraging others
is all about!

One thing I have read about is the approach, our motivation or "orientation" to sports.  Researchers discuss two main approaches to athletics, Task Orientation vs Ego Orientation.  Sports psychologists explain that an athlete's motivation for action typically influences the outcome! 

Task-oriented athletes focus on self-improvement, mastery of skills, and obtaining goals.  They compete with themselves. Success for these individuals is based on their performance, improvement, reaching goals and the teams performance as a whole.  These athletes tend have more of a positive attitude, are good teammates, and end up being SUCCESSFUL!

Ego-oriented athletes are focused solely on outcome and compete with others (teammates included) instead of themselves.  Success is determined by being "the best" and defeating the competition.  These athletes and coaches are often selfish, not team players, and have negative attitudes...which ultimately leads to being UNSUCCESSFUL!

Researchers indicated that task-oriented athletes have higher rates of success, are better at regulating themselves, are more stable, have more positive outlooks and less negative self talk than ego oriented athletes.  Task-Oriented athletes also tend to be more consistent and more hard-working.

How can we, as adult,s look at any child
and view them as more worthy than the next?

Here is a link to The Task and Ego Orientation in Sports Questionnaire.  I find this all very interesting.  The way we handle the majority of our youth sports programs is through ego orientation.  It is no wonder so many young athletes are selfish, focused on winning, feel like failures and cry when they do not win a game...even when they have played well!  They are often being coached by men that work through ego-orientation!  Many parents I watch also seem to encourage ego orientation by acting like losing a game is the end of the world!  By starting out children in sports so young, they are going to compete in numerous events.  They are going to lose...that is part of competition.  When parents focus solely on winning and being the best, the children are being set up for failure!  And honestly, most of these young children under the age of 12 are NOT emotionally ready to handle the stress and demands the ego orientation approach places on them!

The right coach, with the right approach, makes all the difference!

So, how do we change it?  How as parents of these athletes, can we help to change the culture and attitudes?  There is a lot of information out there about parenting athletes.  I encourage you to do your own research and see what you find!  I will share with you some of what I found.

One article suggests to leave your expectations at home!  That kids will perform better in competition when they have no fear of failure and just play for the sake of playing!  Let them know you will not be judging their performance and that neither should they!

It also suggests to encourage intrinsic motivation. I have always believed this is KEY to any athletes success!  Encourage your children to play for the fun of it, for how it makes them FEEL, because it brings them joy...not for extrinsic rewards like ribbons, trophies or bragging rights!  Athletes with intrinsic motivation, who play because they have a passion for the game are far more successful! In my opinion,  children who play because it is the "cool" thing to do, because their parents want them to, or for any other extrinsic reason will not experience success in the long run!  I have always believed that athletes either "have it or they don't"...you can't really "teach" intrinsic motivation, you can encourage it, but some people just have that drive...just have "it"...that thing you can't really describe but you know when you see an athlete who's "got it"!

It also encourages parents to make sure their children are having fun!  And to be a good role model!

Determination!

Another article by Scott Lancaster, discusses the need for parents to leave their emotions at home!  I have to give credit to my husband at this point!  He is great at doing this and has been encouraging  me to do the same for many years!  I have been much better these last few years!  And let me tell you, it is MUCH more fun and enjoyable to attend these youth games, when you take the emotions out and enjoy the improvements, the funny things they do, the little successes that you witness and just let them play and have fun!

Lancaster states that "over 75% of all kids quit sports by the age of 12, with many leaving and never pursuing an active lifestyle again."   He goes on to say, "unfortunately youth sports places your child in an experience that replicates the world of adult sports well before they’re ready to perform at such a level.  With this comes an over emphasis, if not a single focus, on winning.  This now exposes everyone to the politics of who plays, where they play, how much they play, all for the sake of winning a meaningless game or league.  Not to mention the bad behavior displayed by parents in the stands or coaches on the sidelines.




Girls and sports...need to discuss that soon!


The article is so good, I just want to share the rest of it...


When I witness poor parental or coaching behavior during a youth competition it is often   emotionally charged.  There is nothing wrong with a parent’s eagerness to want to see their child perform well, and coaches that want their teams to do the same.  But what they allow to get in their way are their emotions.  They make it a “need” that their child perform well, which becomes a stressful experience for everyone involved.  We’ve all witnessed the parents that cheer for every mistake the opposing team makes, going crazy after every score, the yelling at officials when calls are close or go the wrong way, all these emotions are based on the wrong aspects of youth sports.

If you take the emotion away as a parent or a coach you can take a different perspective that allows you to observe and actually better enjoy the experience.  Many emotions in sports are based on a final result (winning a game, or your child getting a hit, scoring a goal or touchdown).  When you alleviate the importance of a final result you can actually appreciate all the other elements of competition, by enjoying the entire experience.  For example, witnessing your child’s improvement dribbling a ball, getting into a better stance, making better contact, etc.  Those are the moments that you should note and take away to reinforce with your child after a game.

A coach that gets overly emotional in either a negative or positive fashion loses perspective as well.  By keeping an even keel approach, where you stay in the moment and don’t allow the emotions of a blown officials call or an error made by your team distract you, you’ll have the benefit of better observing all aspects of the game and making clear headed decisions.  John Wooden, the all-time winningest basketball coach of all time would sit and observe games, never getting too excited in a negative or positive fashion.  He was there to observe and learn, if he had allowed himself to get carried away in the emotion of a game he would have lost perspective and would’ve not taken half of what he took away from each game and then brought to his team at practice.


His answer to these problems:  
"TAKE THE EMOTION OUT OF IT!!"

All about fun...and enjoying the little things!

I also got some advice from Coach Kern, who I love and respect, and here are her suggestions to the parents of her players...I LOVE this! ( Hope you don't mind me sharing, Coach!)

 THINGS A PARENT SHOULD SAY TO THEIR ATHLETE BEFORE A MATCH---
1. Go give it your all
2. Keep a great attitude
3. I love YOU

3 THINGS A PARENTS SHOULD SAY TO THEIR ATHLETE AFTER A MATCH--
1. I really enjoyed watching you play
2. What do you want to eat?
3. I love YOU

How awesome and SIMPLE is that???!!!

Honestly, I think what I am learning and what I think I have realized over the last several years, is...

* There is more to life than sports!!!

*Either your child "has it" or doesn't..."wants it" or doesn't....no amount of force, begging, bribing, coaching, practicing, or yelling can put a DESIRE to work hard, improve and and be successful!  I think an individual is made that way...yes, it can be there and be undeveloped...but as parents, we can't force something to be there that isn't there!

*ASK your child what they WANT!!!  It is their life!  Would you want someone FORCING you to do something you don't enjoy...while putting pressure on your to preform and be the best?  I think many kids are afraid to say what they really feel and want because they do not want to disappoint!  So, talk to your children about what they ENJOY doing and about their plans for their future!

*And last but not least...LOVE, APPRECIATE, RESPECT, and ENCOURAGE not only your child, but ALL children!!!  Remember, athletic ability DOES NOT determine the worth of a human being!

So, let's all work to be better role models for these young people...let's consider their feelings...and let's put sports in perspective in our community and make things better for everyone!  So many POSITIVES, so much FUN and so much SUCCESS could happen right here in our town if we valued good work ethic, positive character, teamwork, good attitudes and if we VALUED EACH AND EVERY CHILD and THEIR UNIQUE ABILITIES! 

Have always loved this! 
Learning respect...priceless!