I want to say that I LOVE sports! I love to play almost anything! I love to watch almost any sport! I appreciate athletic ability and I really value amazing work ethic and teamwork! I love that when I played volleyball, I made some lasting friendships, not only with teammates but with my coaches. I have some wonderful memories that I will always hold dear to my heart! I learned so much from my coaches, not just about volleyball, but about working to reach my goals, being a team player, and about being a better person off of the court. I had teammates who wanted the best for each other and who realized that in order to be a great team, we all had to do our best, accept our role, work together and that when we did those things, it would be FUN and we would BE SUCCESSFUL!! Overall, being involved in sports was a very positive experience for me! I think that is why I really struggle with our youth sports programs today! The positive aspects of sports seem to be slipping away...quickly!
Just like the show "Toddlers & Tiara's", I could see a show titled "Boys & Balls"...the parents on "Toddlers & Tiaras" are exactly like the many desperate parents involved in youth sports today! That may sound funny...but if you stop and think, it is TRUE, sad but true!! It is the same thing!!
Since my oldest son, Bart, who is now almost 14, started playing soccer and t-ball 10 years ago, I have been confused, concerned, down right aggravated and overall completely disappointed in how the youth programs are handled in our community. Flag football is the ONLY program where each child was treated as equal and important. Every child was taught the same things, worked with all of the coaches, and were given chances to play different positions. When teams were divided up to play games, they were divided up as fairly as possible and the teams didn't stay the same. Certain children were not made out to be "the stars" or viewed as more important than the others! It seemed to be a great experience for all involved...learned some basics, played the game and had FUN!
My concern with most youth sports programs is that we are teaching the following to the kids:
-to win at all costs...even if that means cheating, lying, excluding, stacking teams, hurting others.
-you are only valuable if you are the best
-if you lack athletic ability, then you lack worth.
-if your team wins, then you are better than others and deserve special treatment
-if your dad is in charge of the league then you are guaranteed to get the best team and play the best positions, with all your friends. (found a article about exactly that...sounds very familiar!!!)
-that when you get the best players on your team you really don't have to work hard...you just show up and automatically win because that is how it the league has been set up. So, a strong work ethic is never developed but a since of entitlement is!
-that we are discouraging kids from continuing to play because they lose every game, feel like failures, and see that only "the stars" or certain kids are really important...due to how adults set up the teams and handle the leagues. Which in turn leads to low numbers in school sports because kids have already quit and decided they do not like sports BEFORE they get to 7th grade!
-that everyone is your competition and that you shouldn't want them to succeed, otherwise, you might not be the best. Which leads to LACK of TEAMWORK once they get to school sports because they see their teammates as competition...as someone standing in their way of being the best. I actually believe I have witnessed kids play who would rather lose a game, than see their teammates be successful. How sad is that??
-because that being the best is ALL that matters. NOT your effort, your hustle, your attitude, your improvement...
- that playing sports is NOT about having fun, NOT about working together as a team, NOT about encouraging one another, NOT about improving and mastering skills, NOT about enjoying good competition...it is only about WINNING at ANY COST, making yourself look good and degrading anyone that might be better than you or not as talented as you!!
-that if you lose you are a failure...and that your less valuable. I see many parents that seem to feel their own self-worth is determined by their child's athletic performance. Talk about pressure on a child! Makes me feel badly for them! ( I've been guilty of this, when Bart was young, but I learned quickly! Thankfully!)
Is that really what we want to teach our children? Not me!!! So, I feel like I spend extra time at home trying to reteach them and discuss what is really important and how to be a good teammate and have good sportsmanship! I will admit that I am very competitive. I believe that if you are going to play...you PLAY and you HUSTLE! You always give 100% and never settle for less than YOUR best! But I would rather play a great competitive game, against a great team and lose, than play a bad team and win easily...what fun is that? Playing on equal teams, when you don't know before hand who is going to win, is much more fun, exciting, and much of a learning experience for all! And making it a fun, exciting, learning, growing experience is what it is all about! That's why we love playoffs and big games...watching great competition is fun!
I was listening to a podcast through the Positive Coaching Alliance and the discussion was questioning if youth sports really build character...that is a very debatable question. I believe that sports mainly reveal character...and may shape character in a positive or negative way. It all depends on the coach and the culture of the programs. If children play in programs that encourage the values listed above, positive character is not going to be developed. Children coming out of these programs will likely have bad attitudes, a since of entitlement, lack of respect, lack of teamwork and a poor work ethic. Exactly opposite of what most people hope are the character building benefits of being involved in sports.
"It is amazing how much you can accomplish when it doesn't matter who gets the credit."
This brings me to another issue that I have been reading about...Elitism in youth sports. What is that exactly? Well, let me just share with you some points from a man named Scott Lancaster....
Here is a link directly to the article...
He states that elitism in youth sports/travel teams cause the following...
- not providing proper Athletic/Skill development
- unfairly and prematurely judging their ability and potential
- taking away valuable time on town fields & facilities for a handful of chosen ones
– ultimately destroying your town’s future success at the high school level.
We have allowed a universe of parents to ruin sports for kids. A universe that most likely experienced little or no athletic success themselves. A selfish universe that doesn’t care about other kids in their community, and feel their children are entitled to play on elite teams over others. This group of ignorant souls are relieved when their child’s competition is whittled away and told there not good enough to make a team before they’ve reached puberty. Everyone, this is the harsh reality of today’s youth sports experience.
Unfortunately the trend is getting worse rather than better. When parents do ask why there is only “one travel team per town per age group” and why there cannot be “multiple travel teams of the same age from the same town equally divided talent wise” they’re denied. Their reason, “we need to be competitive when we play other towns”. In other words, it’s more important to win a 9 year old travel team game than it is to unselfishly develop many more athletes with a passion to play.
If you’re a high school coach with any sense of athletic and program development experience you would put a stop to segregating kids before the age of 14, and allow all kids the opportunity to develop equally. Let’s face the true reality, the kids you see on Select /Travel Teams now will most likely not be starring or playing in high school. Ultimately Travel/Select Teams build false hope among entitled parents at the expense of destroying many other kids hopes to play with their friends and develop athletically.
If you’re a town administrator or athletic director, it should be your responsibility to put a stop to elitism in sports. The results would be the opportunity to keep more kids involved and active therefore cutting down on the many bad things that happen when active options are taken away from kids.
If you’re a parent of a child on a travel/select team you’ll selfishly glance right past this issue, but if your a parent that has young children not yet involved in organized sports, this is your opportunity to fix it now, and demand change. If THAT ARTICLE DOESN'T MAKE YOU STOP AND THINK...NOTHING WILL!!!!
As mature, educated adults, especially those of us who call ourselves Christians, we should to want to provide positive experiences for EACH child who wants to play youth sports!
to be continued....I will be writing about and sharing more information on the topic of youth sports all week...and anytime I find interesting information! Hopefully, finding alternatives, answers and suggestions for improving the win at all costs, elitism culture of youth sports!
And last but not least, I do have the best of intentions and I want what is best for all kids, so if you don't like what I have to say or the information I share, you don't have to read my blog and you don't have to click on the links! If any of the comments or information offend you, maybe you should ask yourself why? None of this should upset you, if you have truly had no part in cultivating the culture of elitism in youth sports!
Coach Dean Smith to Michael Jordan in his freshman year at UNC"
Michael, if you can't pass, you can't play."
