AAB...Attention Abundance Blessing

This morning, I have been wanting to blog but I can't decide on a topic...so random always works for me!  I'm sure you are all just dying to know the random thoughts that run around in this brain!  So I'm gonna start typing and we'll see where we end up!

Don't know if I have mentioned it before, but I have ADD...Attention Deficit Disorder... and I wanna talk a little bit about that!

First of all, I do not like the name!  I think it should be called AAB...or AAC...Attention Abundance Blessing or Attention Abundance Curse, for those of you that have a desperate need to view us blessed with Attention Abundance in a negative light, or as "disordered".

I will admit that I get frustrated with myself and some of the traits that come along with being AAB. 
I'll just name a few...

Being unorganized...my brain just can NOT think about where things should go and that sort of thing..in my mind it all needs to be sitting out, so I can see it, and have everything handy!

Lack of a filter...talking without thinking first...that can really cause a girl some problems!  Not to mention, I talk to much and share too much info for most people!

Losing things...because I never pay attention to where I sit something down...by the time I am in the act of sitting it down, my mind is on to the next thing!  So, I lose things frequently! 

Mindless Eating...this can cause some problems as well...eating without awareness, while doing something else can add on some pounds!  And when you're as short as me...that's not a good thing!

Forgetfulness/Absentmindedness...I forget where I am driving pretty much on a daily basis (just ask my kids!), I forget appointments, practices, special dates...I forget to get gas, I forget to take my purse and then if I do take it somewhere I leave it there, I go to a store to get something and leave with 10 items...none of which are what I went in to get!  (This could be an entire blog post!)

Ok, since I'm honest, I'll tell you what I did last month!  I was at the dentist with Bart...made a cleaning appointment for THE NEXT DAY for Brett.  The lady working said, "You won't need a card, it's tomorrow!"  I responded, "No, I need a card, I'll forget!"  She nicely, raised her eyebrows and grinned and made me out a card that said 3:30 TOMORROW!  You know what happened, don't you?  Yep, I forgot.  Completely!  Never thought of it again after I walked out of the office.  I went somewhere the following day, can't remember where, and when I get home that evening, Darren says, "The dentist office called...you missed Brett's appointment!"  I just wanted to sit down and cry and laugh and cry and laugh and cry some more!  That really drives me crazy!


Even though those things can make me crazy...and I KNOW I really drive other people crazy...I am happy that I have AAB.  It makes me who I am and it makes me...

Aware, intuitive, in-tune to others....I can read people very easily, I really pay attention to others.  I know the second I see someone if they are upset or mad or if something isn't right.  That can lead to problems because I usually can't stop myself from saying, "What's wrong?" or "Are you OK?" and then I often get tears flowing...which doesn't really bother me but I know most people like to pretend and not talk about problems!  Poor Darren...I know he is upset, mad, tired whatever...often before he realizes!  My kids have a very hard time getting anything by me!  Bart just asked me the other day, "How do you ALWAYS know?"  I just smiled and said "just remember that!"  Can't get much passed Big Mama! 

This can also lead to problems for me because I can tell when people are lying to me almost instantly and I ALWAYS want to call them out on it but I can't! And when I do, it doesn't always go well!  I would love to just be able to say "LIE" every time my friends, family, coworkers or whoever tell me something that I know isn't quite the truth, even if it is something trivial,  but I know I should just let it go.  But letting things go outwardly, but still questioning inwardly,  leads me to question so many relationships and the intentions of others and why they would lie over little things. Then I start questioning...what are they trying to hind, why do they not want me to know the truth, is anything they say every fully truthful, to who is this a benefit?

I would much rather people be honest about everything...even if it hurts my feelings...because knowing someone lies to me, even about little things, hurts far worse.  It makes me feel like the relationship is a "scam" and not real...and that makes everything difficult for me after that!  I want to just pull away and keep everything superficial!  I guess that is why I struggle with relationships...cause once I hit my point of being lied to too many times, or kept from the truth, I pretty much give up!  Once, I stop trusting someone, I pretty much NEVER trust them again!  Harsh, I know...but honest!

And yes, I have discussed this many times with Darren and I will stand by my belief that omitting the truth or not telling the full story or reason, IS LYING!!!  Not telling the truth is lying!!!  For example, when someone tells me they CAN'T do something because of  "this"... but really they DO NOT WANT to do it because of "that"...I see that as a lie!  Just tell the truth already!  If it is gonna hurt my feelings, that's my problem, but lying to me ruins much more!  My hurt feelings will go away...your lie will never leave my mind!!!  It's like a steele trap!

Kinda goes along with Darren's comment that I can NOT stand people being FAKE!  I can see it a mile away...and I have no use for it!  I understand being cordial to others is necessary, even if they are not our favorite person.  I don't see that as fake, I see that as being mature.  But people who try to act like they are sooo nice and sweet to certain people for their own personal gain...PUKE!!   You are either nice or you're not...if you are only nice to your friends or people of power and can't even look at others or talk to people outside of your "clique"...then you are not a nice person!

If you want know

 the true character of someone,

pay attention to how they treat people

who can do nothing for them!!!

Let's move on before I get upset!

Creative...I love that I can be creative!  I love that I have an eye for photography.  I love to make things...I am not afraid to try anything...I've made my own patterns out of newspapers for basket liners, skirts, and other crazy things.  I just sew things...even if I'm not "doing it right"...I see uses for things that most people see as trash!  Hence, the CLUTTER that Darren mentioned!  I think it's pretty cool that I have tons of ideas and

Have NO FEAR!...I'm not afraid to try things, or to quit things, or to say what I think, or to try a different job or to go after a big idea that I have...which I do have many...

Come up with BIG IDEAS!...There is never a shortage of ideas in my head!  I think Darren gets exhausted just listening to all the things I want to make and all the things I want to do!  He does not understand my need to help everyone and how I think I am going to accomplish it!

HAVE FUN!...I do love to have fun...I love to play games just like a big kid! 

Be Honest...Some people may not like it but I think most people KNOW where they stand with me!  I say it like it is...call it like I see it!  I am NOT good at hiding my feelings...If I'm happy to see you, you know it!  If I'm in a great mood, you'll know it!  If I am sad, you'll know it...I do cry easily (which does make me mad sometimes!) I pretty much wear my emotions on my sleeve...I am a terrible liar!  If I do try to lie,  I end up telling on myself and if you know me at all, you could probably see it on my face.  I usually never try to lie anyway, unless I know something that is not my place to tell...certain information that I may have been asked about but that is confidential in nature...obviuosly I have to lie and say I don't know!  I would say I'm pretty much one of the most "real" people you are ever gonna meet...you may see that as good and you may see it as bad...but you'll never have to spend much time guessing what I think!  Just ask...I'll tell you!

So, I feel blessed...I guess you can say I'm "gifted"...now that's funny!

If you ever research ADD or ADHD (you won't find ABB online!), you will find that MANY, very successful actors, artists, musicians, and entrepreneurs have ABB!  I do think it is a "gift" and I feel "blessed" by it! 

I love the book "The Gift of Adult ADD"...it is awesome!

I really want to go see Ben Glen, the chalk guy over at Lake Land College...he has ADD and talks to people about it all over the US about ADHD!  He is one smart cookie!  I hope to meet him sometime!  Maybe the school will let me tag along on career day...Bart would love that, wouldn't he??

Well, this post ended up not being so random after all!  I had not planned on this topic at all...had to go search for all of my quotes after I was done writing!  But it worked, I guess!  Now you know even more about me...probably more than you wanted, once again!  Wow, I just went and previewed the blog...I guess it is more about LIES than ADD!  Sorry...it was a little random, I guess!