Granny...29 Again!

Granny Lois & Grandpa Bob

If you know me very well at all, you know my Granny Lois is one of my very favorite gals on the earth!  She has been like a best friend to me for as long as I can remember!  And as scary as it might be, I got a lot from her...my short legs, my stubby fingers, torn off nails, turtle toes...a diet coke addiction, as well as a love of shoes, make-up, books, clothing and magazines!  I also rub my feet together when I an sitting still, just like she does.  Darren and my friends say I act just like her...I just don't get that!  I do admit that I use her favorite logic of all time...and that is responding to most questions or statements with the word "well".  Only we drag it out a little...so I guess I should say, "WEELLL!"

Me, Darren & Granny...look how tiny she is!  Fall 1991

Today is Granny's birthday.  I won't share her age, otherwise she might disown me...heck, she will probably disown me anyway.  You see, I didn't get her a very nice gift today.  All she got from me was blueberry cheesecake soft serve from Druby's....and she drove to my house to pick it up.  I am a pretty rotten granddaughter, if I do say so myself!  I'll make it up to her...someday!  Oh wait...I did do something for her...I stayed up all night last fall in the ER in Effingham, after teaching Body Pump...still in my workout clothes, while she drooled over her handsome male nurses!  I was so tired, I was delirious!  Aunt Carol and I giggled all night long!  Poor Granny!  So, I say we are even!  Don't ya think?  Really,  I'd do it again tonight if she needed me...and she knows that!

Happy Halloween...with some of her great- grandkids

Darren and I tease Granny often, very often...and giggle at some (most) of the things she says...
So, late this afternoon, she asks me about writing this blog...wonders just where I come up with these big ideas!  Well, (see there it is again) I don't think it's that big of a deal, I tell her that I just write what is on my mind!  And she says it would be hard for her...must not be anything in her mind! (She said that...not me!)

Granny...celebrating Brett's birthday with a pie in the face!

So, for her birthday, she gets to write a blog...share her advice with the WORLD!  (Ok, so maybe it really is  just a few people in Shelbyville...but don't tell her that...I think she thinks I'm famous!)

Huh???  Well!!!

So here ya go...here is some what we love to call

"Lois Logic"...

advice, tips & other useless information from Lois...

on cooking... "Since I never did like to cook, even with 5 kids, and I still don't like to cook, I'd say do the easiest, fastest thing you can think of..."

Granny, Jennifer, Abbie & Diane...I got them all aprons, so they can cook!

on housekeeping..."Don't let it get ahead of ya, you'll be in trouble!"

on ironing..."Now, I used to like to iron but I don't even do it anymore! I always had to have a crease down the front of my pants!"

on laundry..."Well, I'm very particular about my laundry...I only wash whites with white things, red with red things, blue jeans with blue jeans, and khakis with khaki things...I don't know!"  

on stain removal..."I pretreat all stains with oxyclean or something to that affect AND since my washer does not adjust like it should, I have to adjust it manually.  I do not wash in cold!  So, sometimes I have to do some manual adjustments to get it just right!"  (INTERESTING?)

on skin care..."Inherit good skin from your mother!  My mother NEVER wore a touch of make-up on her face! And I have heard people say that she never had a wrinkle...but I don't think that is true!"

on dieting...(this could take a while!)..."Don't yo-yo diet.  It will make you have wrinkles.  That's why I have so many wrinkles!"  So, I asked her if you should starve yourself?  She replied, "Yes, that's what I did!"

on drinking..."I don't drink!  I don't know when I've ever had a drink! (REALLY??? I wish you could see the puzzled look on my face...mouth open wide!) "IT'S TRUE!"  So, I ask her about going to The Legion.  She says, "I don't go there anymore, but I used to drink when I went there. I had water & Vodka!" (But she can't recall ever having a drink???)  and she continues, "I did have some wine the other day, oh at the restaurant where they give you a free glass, oh that Olive Garden!"  OK...now the truth comes out!

on cures for common ailments..."I don't know about that, but I do know that Vodka will help you keep from coughing for a while!"  We laugh and laugh!  THEN she says, "I used to take a little pill bottle full of vodka to work at the Sale Barn to help me keep from coughing!"  (this from the lady who can't recall drinking!)  "But they knew about me bringing it to work!"  Nice, Granny, real Nice!



First time in a pool "swimming" in FL...I took her and Abbie to stay with Aunt Maggie!  Now, that was a trip!
I was so proud of her!  She is terrified of water!


on traveling..."You can travel all you want but just go home and sleep in your own bed!!  I like to sleep in my own bed!"  Where is you favorite place to visit?  "I don't know...(LONG PAUSE) Florida!  Or California is prettier than FL and I always like to go to Tennessee!"

on cars..."I like fancy cars and red ones! They don't have to be super fast!"

on clothing/style..."I like anything that makes me look younger...and taller...and thinner, yeah!"
what is your favorite piece of clothing now..."Bootleg jeans. I feel better in them than anything!"

on getting a good nights sleep..."I don't know, cause sometimes I do and sometimes I don't!"
So, do you recommend wearing underwear to bed? "Well, yes, sometimes!"  Well, when I was a kid, you told me I shouldn't wear them to bed! Right?  So do you wear underwear to bed?
"Don't ask such personal questions!"

on marriage..."Separate bedrooms and earplugs!"

I LOVE this...so typical...although Bob's eyes are open...not so typical!

on being a Granny..."Well, that's why they say 'Life begins at 40', I guess!" 

What else do you want to tell me..."Well, you probably have enough!"

What your biggest pet peeve..."Oh Gosh...Grandpa saying nothing is his fault!  And there is only two of us in the house...and I didn't do it...and he says he didn't!"  (insert: eye roll!)


"I need to go home and get supper!  Even if it is my birthday, I am gonna get in trouble if I don't get home and fix somethin'!"

What's your favorite thing about me, Granny???  (Laughing) "I don't know!  All the good things people say about you...that's what I like!"   Isn't that nice...she can't think of one single thing!

Just look at those eyebrows!

What do you want to do before your next birthday?  "In the next year??? Go on a trip!"

Anything else you want to share...."Oh, I don't know!  You can't have too many books, just like you can't have too much money!"

Are you a hoarder? "Yes, I think, partly!  I hoard shoes, clothes, magazines and books!"  ( I KNOW where I get it!!)

"You had better let me read it before you put it in there!"...(In where???) 

To which I reply, "NOPE!"  (insert: huff/puff and eye roll by Lois)

Granny & Bart the morning he left for Australia

As she is walking towards the door, she asks "Did I leave my keys in the car?"  (I know where I get that, too!)

Now, you can see why I love her so much...you can't find them much goofier than Granny!

Darren & Granny...isn't she lovely??

I am so thankful that I have got to spend 37 years with her!  She has loved me unconditionally, supported me, laughed at me, been completely honest with me,  shared with me, encouraged me, and taught me!  I love her dearly!  I am so blessed to call her my "Granny"!!!!

Thanks Granny...I think your first blog was a success!  Love you!

***If you would like to wish her a happy birthday or share a funny about Lois, please comment below!  Posts are sent to me first and then I post them...so go ahead and share!****